Worried

I miss you already

I love you

I hate what that place stands for

I hate it that my most favourite place in the world worries and reminds me of bullshit
I love that place, I always have but it sucks to leave, especially because whenever I do stuff that I can't control goes wrong and that feeling of helplessness sets in and even if nothing does I still have the memories of when it did.

Grrrrrr

I've recently noticed that there's alot of people I hate that I have'nt

even met, And I know hates a strong word but theres no alternative I havent met them to think otherwise all somebody needs to do to get in your books is to do something wrong or suspicious then they're in a rutt they wont climb out of.

Hmmmm

Smiling

You know that feeling when you go over a hill really quickly and you get that tingly feeling in the bottom of you're stomach, I'm feeling that constantly atm

It may be because I recently drank four botlles of budget passionfruit and my bladder has burst and the toxins are killing my brain

Or it may be because I'm enjoying life

Theres no trivial problems

Small issues seem to wash away over night

I have amazing friends

The most perfect and beautiful girlfriend

And alot of budget passionfruit

Let it continue

^/-\^

Today was very fun

Im not cold

But I can't stop shivering

Im the illegitimate offspring of a threesome between paranoia, anger and ugly

I dont know what to think of all that

Pain with a side of guilt

Im sorry

I'm useless

My own fucking problems hurt people other than me

I shouldnt be here

Pain with a side of guilt

Im sorry

I'm useless

My own fucking problems hurt people other than me

I shouldnt be here

Watching, waiting, worrying

I'm insane

What a pity

Time flys by

Four months is a long time

But it really hasn't felt long

In reality it should've been alot longer than four months because of all the intial stuff

People looking over curiously

"Are you guys going out?"

"Na"

lol

We may aswell of been

Waiting for the other to ask

It id eventually happen

And Im so glad ^/-\^

So four months later and we're still together happily (well I am)

I love her

Shes beautiful, amazing and completly perfect and way too good for me

I hope she isn't sick of me . . .

Forgive and forget?

Apologies, Redemption, Jusitification

Does this entirely rid the past from exsistence?

Is it meant to?

Well ofcoarse it doesnt actually if there was a magic wee pill that could make all bad memories go

away that would make apologies easier I'd say better

But they still do help

What ever happened to face to face apologies though?

The genuine eye to eye that makes you feel like you can trust, believe and move on

I guess that died with technology.... which is a shame

It would make it easy to believe.

The small things

When every word, every sentence from anyone has a double meaning, everything, even the small things stay present in my mind

The thing other people would quickly forget or throw to the wind remain at my side

Is this insanity?

Protection?

Paranoia?

Its possible yes

I already know that I'm all of those things

I don't think this makes me a bad person

Just careful

But I am also aware that it is a burden for the people I care about

. . .and I am sory for that

I'm sory for asking so many questions

I'm sory for being suspicious

I'm sory I fluxuate

But it's merely me putting unusual and most likely untrue puzzles together in my head

With a blank look on my face.

And If I ever get angry or down

It will never be at anyone else except for myself

Who would've thought?

Theres many things in life that I never thought I'd have
A pet unicorn
A buzz lightyear outfit
And a blog
But low an behold look
I still have no unicorn or outfit but I do have a blog

Is this a sign of me trying new things that I've never tried before?
Turning over a page in the lengthy encyclopedia of my life?
Ofcoarse not
Im far to lazy and my lifes fine as it is
^/-\^